What constitutes as Victim Blaming?
Let’s start with what my therapist said, as to why My Step Brother abused me.
He said it was because he was jealous of me.
But is that just fact or victim blaming?
Would it be victim blaming if someone said it was parents fault he is abusing me? I know this not to be true, but I am just using this an example to understand where I am coming from.
I understand where my therapist is coming from, it does sound like victim blaming, but it also sounds like there is something wrong with my step brother, who at the time was 16 years old and I was 11 years old.
So I am wondering if victim blaming is real, or how you look at the way someone said something?
Is only keeping to a narrative, and only thinking along those lines the reason why my therapist’s conclusion would be construed as victim blaming?
See, there is a reason he said he was punishing me. My step brother who had tried to stick himself inside my virgina, actually raped me anally. He would do that very hard and forcefully, and then finish inside me.
So would my therapist saying he was punishing still be victim blaming now you know this little bit of information?
I’ts like at school being bullied, and me reacting. I would I was wrong to react the way I did, I would also say that it encouraged them further, because they saw it got to me. And though at the time the teachers didn’t do anything, I could very easily blame them for not intervening in the situation. But saying that I shouldn’t have reacted in my eyes, isn’t victim blaming, it’s just something you learn now you have grown up, and are away from that situation.
I’m also not saying there are not times when people do not victim blame, I has a manager who blamed me when I was working. She used my mental health to say I was going crazy, and tried to get me fired from the store. All because I knew more than her.
But I would say this is victim blaming, in the context that the manager (a woman) was using it for her her own gains, rather than something that could be taken out of context. She wanted this to make me seem like I had no way to stand up for myself, and leg to stand on, whether I was right or wrong. She was making sure everything I did and everything she would set up, put me closer and closer to being fired by the boss.
It’s very different from taking your own personal responsibility for yourself, which is another ball game in its self. It’s something that needs to be discussed, and something that needs to be sorted. Because at the moment, if anyone does anything bad, and you say they have. Then they call that victim blaming, without taking responsibility.
So the conclusion would be, I am not responsible for what my step brother did, nor am I responsible for letting even though I fought him right?